Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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