I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
