What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize