We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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