peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
