after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
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My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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