I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
