You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
