I got chris browned last night
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sorry about my life...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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