alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
