Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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