i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
