I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize