there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
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She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
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I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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