He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize