I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
