Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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