were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Dear god my vagina.
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