No awkward lesbian experiences without me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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