Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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