i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
