is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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