She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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