She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
