carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
