now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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