i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
