Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
