Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
