So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
