He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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