An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You've changed since you got that strap on
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
