i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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