Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
