I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
