Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize