its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
