I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
only if we run a train.
done.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
