How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
