sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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