Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Houston, we have a blender
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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