finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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