Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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