I think im going to throw up on grandma
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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