Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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