I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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