I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I have post one night stand depression
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
