Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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