the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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