what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
