we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
