I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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