You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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