miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
