They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
