I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.