so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize