Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
did i just pee glitter
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
